This will come as welcome news to many with unseasonably cool temperatures and now heavy rain being the feature of the June weather so far. Long periods of unbroken sunshine and cloudless skies will be accompanied by daytime temperatures which are expected to peak in the mid to high 20's and even as high as the low 30's in some parts.
This heatwave will of course take place in the figment of my imagination and will last indefinitely. The heatwave will also coincide with unparalleled success for the Irish Football team at Euro 2012, with Ireland winning the competition, beating England comfortably in the Quarter Finals on the way to a one-sided final against Spain. Paul McShane will score the winner.
In entertainment, Mrs. Brown's Boys will be axed from all TV schedules amidst rumours that there are hidden satanic messages contained in the dialogue when watched backwards. Ultimately this rumour will prove to be unfounded and the show will be simply discontinued for being unbelievably shite.
The good news continues with a dramatic economic upturn which will see a return to full employment by the end of July. All of the board of Anglo Irish Bank will be jailed together with other senior directors of AIB and Bank of Ireland. In a tearful confession Bertie Ahern will admit live on the Late Late Show that he was corrupt and errant in running the country. In the same show Ryan Tubridy will actually become humorous and interesting and surprise guest Brian Cowen will explode.
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